Let them eat CAKE!

Bean is ONE!! He is a wild little boy, loves to climb on everything, rearranges the furniture on a regular basis, and thinks his sister is about the funniest human he’s ever met.

We celebrated surviving the first year with two under two in quarantine style. Family came to swim in the pool and share lunch together. In keeping with family traditions, we couldn’t let Bean’s birthday pass without getting a keg – after all, parents deserve some celebrating too!

But, let’s really be honest, first birthday parties are the most fun because of the SMASH CAKE!! Bean was happy to destroy his giant cupcake with full fledged excitement while Bug cheered him on – and then helped him ‘finish it’ Mortal Kombat style complete with karate chops. Watching those tiny humans dig their faces into the sweet makings of flour, sugar, and butter is really adults living vicariously through these experiences. And messy babies are happy babies.

As a pediatric OT who plays with little kiddos all day, many of whom do not like eating nor do they tolerate food anywhere near their faces or hands, I am here to share the amazing accomplishments of those little one-year-olds we all love celebrating.

We have already briefly discussed messy toddlers and messy play – check out A Messy Toddler is a Happy Toddler for a refresher! I want to bring to light specifically the full experience and development of eating.

Imagine this: you’re sitting at a new restaurant, with a menu of choices and food types you are unfamiliar with *I am imagining various meats – I am not super adventurous with new meats. Maybe you are imagining casseroles. Crazy things can be hiding in casseroles.* Feeling brave, you ask the waitstaff for a recommendation and go with it! Your food comes to the table and it is nothing like you have seen or experienced. What is your initial reaction?

**STOP RIGHT HERE** What is the first thing you do with this new food sitting in front of you!? Is it steaming and sizzling or maybe crunchy when you dig your fork into it (HEARING)? Do you move it around with your utensil to inspect the components (SIGHT)? Poke it a little with your finger (TOUCH)? Bring a little scoop up to your nose and give it a good sniff (SMELL)?

As adults, we will experience new foods and eating experiences with every other of the five senses BEFORE we taste it!! It is natural to make sure it seems safe before you allow this foreign thing into your body. And now put yourself in the shoes of these sweet little babies and toddlers – EVERYTHING THEY EAT IS NEW!! So why shouldn’t we give our tiny humans the same opportunity to experience and trial foods? Just as we adults do, kids have the innate need to inspect foods and enjoy a whole body experience at meal time. This includes that PB&J you put on their plate for lunch. Bean is especially fond of the moisturizing properties of raspberry jelly and the hair styling ability of creamy peanut butter. Also, spaghetti makes a pretty awesome wig, but that is already well known across the toddler community.

A big push throughout the mommy-ing world right now is Baby Led Weaning. [Disclaimer: I did not do a ton of research into this method of introducing solids. The thoughts and statements here (just like the rest of my posts) are based on my experience as a mom and occupational therapist.] On the surface, I fully agree with the ideas and concepts. Simply put, the baby is only given whole food of safe sizing (so not so small they would choke) and the baby learns to feed him or herself with their hands. I LOVE the idea that the baby is given food to explore. I LOVE that the child consistently sees what the whole food looks like. I LOVE that the little one is able to manipulate their meal at their own leisure. Honestly, the part that I really don’t agree with is not providing early introduction to purees because I do feel that the kids are missing out on an entire texture profile and practice for the coordination for managing foods in their mouths.

What this method does provide, is the opportunity for our tiny little growing friends to take apart and truly understand what they are eating. Supporting the fully body experience (sound, sight, texture, smell, AND taste) allows all those growing brain connections to solidify the joy and active participation in meal times. Their little brains are busy taking in the world around them. They are building connections between what they see, what they smell, what they eat, and how they feel. When we support a happy and positive eating experience, we are teaching all these growing areas of their brains that eating is good and meals times are to be enjoyed!

I know what all my clean, tidy, and organized friends are thinking – “THEY WILL BE A TOTAL MESS!!!” Honestly, I feel that bibs are silly and only extra laundry. I let my little ones eat in their diapers and Bug still occasionally enjoys a particularly messy dinner in her undies. Plus, what better way to learn to be a tidy eater than with the immediate and direct consequence of avocado smooshed on their bellies when it misses their mouths? And everyone gets a hose down in the tub after dinner – we also have a dog AKA baby-cleaner-upper.

So, whether you are embracing BLW (as the cool kids call it) or sticking to the classic/old-school/retro method of feeding your tiny humans, I hope that you keep a few things in mind:

  • Kids are allowed to not like foods – just as you may have decided that the weird casserole you accidentally ordered at the new restaurant wasn’t your style, your little one may decide they think peanut butter is better left for the birds.
  • Kids may require at least 8-15 introductions to a food before really deciding whether or not they like it. So always offer, but never force (I don’t like to be forced, and they don’t either).
  • Kids are allowed to touch foods that aren’t “finger foods.” I hope that you will let them make those brain connections stronger by incorporating more senses into their eating experiences. Also, napkins.
  • Kids are WASHABLE! My mantra at work with my limited eating or tactile-sensitive kids is “I am washable, I am washable, I am washable.” It’s so exciting the day they are able to embrace this and really start to enjoy meal times.

Thank you for joining me in celebrating this happy milestone in my family. I hope that you will embrace and enjoy your happy, messy, and full-bellied little babies, toddlers, kids, and big kids too! Looking at you moms with teens at the wing house.

Cheers, Heather